The First Time I Was Conned

I am an inexplicably trusting creature. If a stranger comes up to me in the street and asks for money because she needs to feed her child and she can't afford baby formula then I will probably end up emptying my wallet (This may or may not have happened). However once I catch on to your con game, I will never fall for it again. Character development, people.

This takes place in a dark time in my life. I was naive and gullible in a world full of crooks who could smell weakness on me like oregano on pizza. It was irresistible to them. Yes, of course I am talking about Primary School. It happened on a cold, wintry mid-summer afternoon, and I was playing with my new pack of Pokémon Cards. 1st edition Starter set, I was chuffed. Everyone else had them and I was finally going to join in. Filled with hope and child like frivolity I went to school, looking to socialise in whatever way my awkward young self could. I passed the day, blindly trading energies for cards that would do nothing without said energies, standard kid stuff, when, during break, one of the older kids came up to me. What he offered me? A Pokémon comic, 1st issue. Well, I could hardly believe my luck. What did he ask for in return, why it was only a small thing. Nothing much. Just the shiny Machamp that came with all starter packs. How could I say no?

Believe me, I am cringing right along with you as I write this. Well, it turned out, it wasn't even a proper Pokémon comic. Some translated Pokémon Special, that would have been fine, but no, all I got was what amounted to an officially produced print out of screenshots from the first animé episode. I was devastated when I realised my error. From that day on, I resolved to change. I changed from the 7-8 year old child I once was and became an 8-9 year old boy! Never again did I blindly walk into deals I hadn't thought through or checked thoroughly for validity. I still have that comic, if only to forever remind me of that day, to feel the same sting of resentment, and to remind me to always be wary of deals that seem too good to be true.

Until I was 12 when my friend assured me that that girl I liked would totally go out with me if I just asked. I feel I coped with that "No." better than many my advanced age would.

What sorrow these 12 year old eyes know. Death and suffering walk with me arm in arm, cloaks black as my VERY SOUL.

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The Steam Sale, and Why I Haven't Updated

There are times when it is a good thing to have not really very much money at all. One of those times is during the Steam sale when you can feel much better about having spent all your money on games your computer cannot and will not ever run.

Why must you taunt me so?

There is a very obvious question that comes up every year, "How can they afford this?", the answer to which is the equally obvious question, "Would you buy it anyway?". Would you really look at that game at it's RRP and think, "Yeah, I want that.", or has the thought process turned into "Well fuck, it's only £3"? Steam is still making money here, money that they wouldn't have otherwise, because they take that sense of "Hey, I'm saving money!" and apply it to absolutely bloody everything, and suddenly for a week or two, you have a host of people going "Well I wouldn't usually play that, but damn, it's so cheap" for a whole host of non-usual product. Voilà, you have a new customer, who may even end up being a fan of the series/genre/theme music and stick around to buy more at regular price.

The trouble of course is when the regular buyers think "I'll just wait for these Steam sale". Luckily for those on the production end, as we all know the gamer is a horribly impatient breed.

In short, Valve know their markets, their demographics, and know how to work them. They are probably one of the best, if not the best software developers of the age, but it is always worth remembering that they are a company, and they are out to make money. Even if they do take the much more endearing route of actually building a loyal fanbase and not being complete assholes all of the time.

In other news, I haven't updated in a while because I have been trying to remedy the no money situation through the method of working 12 hour night shifts. Very nice pay, but it completely wiped me out when they were finished. I have just gotten my sleep schedule back into something like normal, so ideally there should be some more activity here soon.

Now if you'll excuse me, Thief II is going for under £2. I think my computer should just about handle that.

Sweet, sweet polygons.

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